12th Dec 2008
This could stand more exposure (HA HA, GET IT?)
Via Ben Goldacre’s Bad Science, a brilliant article from UK’s Sun which has some of the worst math ever… in more than one way.
So here’s the math — an equation, and a description of all its variables.
The equation is O=NP(20C+B)/75.
To figure out the naughtiness rating (O), you times the number of nipples exposed, from zero to two or expressed as fractions of nipple shown (N) with the percentage of exposed frontal surface area (P).
The sum in brackets is 20 multiplied by the cup size (C), where A cup is one, B is two, C is three and D or above is five.
Add that figure to B, the bust measurement in inches. Then divide your answer by 75. Any score higher than 100 is counted as obscene.
So by now you’re probably seeing one reason this is bad math: it’s an attempt to quantitatively define obscenity based on breast exposure.
The scientific term for this is “boobline.” That’s another reason this is bad math.
Then The Sun helpfully walks you through the equation, in case you don’t understand algebra, and analyzes a recent photograph of Britney Spears to demonstrate how it works — calculating her low-cut dress at 123.2 (OMG TEH OBSCENE!). Again, bad math, because it’s quite clearly just a fancy way to snark at celebrities. SCIENCE can prove that Britney is bustin’ out!
But Ben pointed out something that I wouldn’t have even bothered realizing, since I was disgusted and had stopped actively thinking:
No. Without nipple exposure Britney’s score is zero, because zero multiplied by anything is zero. In fact, even if that error wasn’t made by our genius mathematician (did you know he did maths at Cambridge?) the formula is still cock, because if all women walked around wearing absolutely nothing but tassles on their nipples – fanny, bum, the whole lot – they would still have a naughtiness rating of zero.
I laughed very, very hard at this. If you’re going to do bad math, you should at least attempt to follow math rules, especially the extremely basic ones.
But now we know: even edible nipple tassels have an obscenity rating of zero, which fact is scientifically supported by a person with a MATH degree from CAMBRIDGE. (Remind me never to send my children to Cambridge, hmm?) Now I totally know what to wear to my next ultra-professional presentation! (Buy your own candy tassels at rudefood.com, if you’re feeling peckish and prudish.)
Via Ben Goldacre’s Bad Science, a brilliant article from UK’s Sun which has some of the worst math ever… in more than one way.
So here’s the math — an equation, and a description of all its variables.
The equation is O=NP(20C+B)/75.
To figure out the naughtiness rating (O), you times the number of nipples exposed, from zero to two or expressed as fractions of nipple shown (N) with the percentage of exposed frontal surface area (P).
The sum in brackets is 20 multiplied by the cup size (C), where A cup is one, B is two, C is three and D or above is five.
Add that figure to B, the bust measurement in inches. Then divide your answer by 75. Any score higher than 100 is counted as obscene.
So by now you’re probably seeing one reason this is bad math: it’s an attempt to quantitatively define obscenity based on breast exposure.
The scientific term for this is “boobline.” That’s another reason this is bad math.
Then The Sun helpfully walks you through the equation, in case you don’t understand algebra, and analyzes a recent photograph of Britney Spears to demonstrate how it works — calculating her low-cut dress at 123.2 (OMG TEH OBSCENE!). Again, bad math, because it’s quite clearly just a fancy way to snark at celebrities. SCIENCE can prove that Britney is bustin’ out!
But Ben pointed out something that I wouldn’t have even bothered realizing, since I was disgusted and had stopped actively thinking:
No. Without nipple exposure Britney’s score is zero, because zero multiplied by anything is zero. In fact, even if that error wasn’t made by our genius mathematician (did you know he did maths at Cambridge?) the formula is still cock, because if all women walked around wearing absolutely nothing but tassles on their nipples – fanny, bum, the whole lot – they would still have a naughtiness rating of zero.
I laughed very, very hard at this. If you’re going to do bad math, you should at least attempt to follow math rules, especially the extremely basic ones.
But now we know: even edible nipple tassels have an obscenity rating of zero, which fact is scientifically supported by a person with a MATH degree from CAMBRIDGE. (Remind me never to send my children to Cambridge, hmm?) Now I totally know what to wear to my next ultra-professional presentation! (Buy your own candy tassels at rudefood.com, if you’re feeling peckish and prudish.)
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