the good old days

Falling in the “I wish I made this up” category…

image from the Stanford School of Medicine

Apparently I’ve been driving around for eight years with this bit of insanity in my steering wheel.

If an affected inflator deploys, the increased internal pressure may cause its casing to rupture, possibly sending metal fragments through the cloth airbag cushion material and into vehicle occupants.

With my luck, my first head-on collision will be the day after I learn about the Shrapnel Airbag, while I’m driving to the dealership to have it repaired.

And the Honda site about this says I can’t take it in for repair until I get an official notice in the mail about it. I better not get the same story from the dealership when I show up with my deathtrap and ask nicely for it to be fixed now please.

Y’know, when I’m out of time, I just tell my kids, “No dessert.” That takes a lot less time than even instant Jell-O pudding! (I should market these genius ideas some time…)

Commercial found via Kitchen Retro, with a nice recipe for Strawberry Sparkle…

Image from Shorpy

Oxydol is the brand of soap that I grew up using in Ohio. Oddly, despite its early- and mid-century nationwide appeal, by the 80’s and 90’s it seems to have been available only around Cincinnati, where Proctor & Gamble (the manufacturer) is based. I am unable to find it in stores elsewhere in the country (Boston, South Carolina, and even Indiana), and Buzz (who grew up in Michigan and Oregon) had never heard of it before I started gathering tidbits for this blog post.

I was actually curious about that for a while, since it seemed unlikely my very brand-loyal mother would have switched to a “local” detergent once she moved to Ohio after growing up in New York; Oxydol must have been sold in many more places earlier in the century, like when Mom would have done laundry with Grandma in the 50’s and 60’s… and it turns out Oxydol was one of the brands that were responsible for the term “soap opera.”

It didn’t mean much on that December day in 1933, but the debut of OXYDOL’S OWN MA PERKINS marked the beginning of the dominance Procter & Gamble would eventually have in sponsoring the daytime serials on radio and television. With the numerous P&G soap products sponsoring the serials, the program earned the slang name “Soap Opera.” This didn’t set too well with the sponsors of drug and food products, who were also popular sponsors of daytime serials. I acknowledge the drug and food companies had a valid complaint, but when it comes to the serial’s slang name, I leave you with this thought— “would you want to listen to a Drug Opera?” — Old Time Radio

So now I’m wondering if great-grandma was the original adaptor of Oxydol, thanks to its revolutionary suds-making ability and use of sponsorship as advertising….

Get the latest Flash Player to see this player.

Listening to this 1935 episode, there’s little of the modern tropes associated with soap operas — the show concentrates a lot more on emphasizing the everyday nature of Ma Perkins and her family’s drama rather than featuring fake deaths, evil twins, and frequent torrid sexual affairs.

And now, everybody ready for the story of Ma Perkins, America’s mother…. The homely, home-town drama. The true life story of a simple, plain, everyday woman. Ma to everyone who knows her…. Ma is a widow with three children, and a business to take care of, a business she’s had to learn by hard knocks.

Son John pitches a fit that Daughter Faye didn’t cook supper on time (and apparently never cooks supper or cleans the house), and Faye gets angry and insists she wants to go to the Big City and get a job. Take a listen for yourself at Rand’s Esoteric OTR.

Compare that to the serious melodrama from an episode of Mary Noble, Backstage Wife (sponsored by Dr. Lyons Tooth Powder, another P&G product):

Yesterday, Larry took Mary to an old rendesvous in hope of breaking down the barriers that have caused them to live apart for the past few months. Mary does not know that Larry is aware of her secret, that he is to become a father. Although reconciliation seemed near, troubles involving Larry’s half-brother Bob broke up what promised to be a perfect evening. Mary received a mysterious telephone call, warning her that if Bob Noble turned State’s evidence against the counterfeit ring with which he had become involved, he would not live 24 hours after being released by the treasury agents. Now, a short time later, Mary and Larry are in a taxi bound for Mary’s Greenwich Village studio. Realizing it was she who persuaded Bob Noble to surrender to the government agents and throw himself on the mercy of the court, Mary feels responsible for his danger, and is nervous and upset. Larry is doing his best to comfort her. Listen…

That’s more like it — secret pregnancies, half-brothers, and a counterfeit ring.

Why not commemorate this historic occasion …

image from NASA

… with this?

image from the Stanford School of Medicine

Every time I get a little confident about all these science and engineering experts (myself included) with bright shining dreams about new technologies which will save the world, I read something like this…

“We know how to get electrical energy from sunlight by means of silicon converters,” said the Chrysler engineering expert. “If we continue to increase the efficiency of these converters, and if we are able to develop small, efficient energy storage cells solar powered cars will be feasible.” — Closer Than We Think, via Paleo-Future

1958 — fifty-one years — and we still haven’t gotten beyond knowing how, but just not quite there yet…

Is frankfurter casing really that much of an issue [insert Mohel joke here], or is it more like when kids “need” to have the crusts cut off a peanut butter sandwich?

image from Retrospace

If your family is more tolerant, then you can go for really upscale hot dog choices — Oscar Mayer wieners with a sack-o-sauce! The wiener the world awaited!

image from clotho98’s Flickr

Well, after a vacation in Cincinnati, we’re finally back in the South. And by vacation, I mean my father getting major eye surgery to repair cataracts and a torn retina — we knew this was happening, and he needed a responsible adult to drive him to and from the hospital. (My brother came up as well, so between him and me and Buzz we approximately qualified as one responsible adult, I guess.)

Instead of taking a vacation to recover from my vacation, I’m taking a daily two-hour course to brush up on all the engineering math I learned in 1998 and subsequently forgot; hopefully I’ll dust off enough archived memories to pass qualifying exams next semester. Meanwhile my bread maker is on the fritz, my son acquired an impressive diaper rash, and my daughter, well, she’s five, ’nuff said. Plus it didn’t rain while we were out of town and I think my blueberry bush has died.

I need some of this stuff!

Only a dollar for a large package of happy pills… those were the days!

trimmed from a Rinso ad posted by JB’s Warehouse and Curio Emporium

Today, the two-year-old found a Tootsie Roll Pop that his sister had left lying around the house. Familiar with suckers, he made it clear that he wanted it. At first, I was a bit leery, lest he choke or something on the Tootsie Roll center. Then I remembered this.

The Dungeons & Dragons cartoon was contemporaneous with my childhood, but the commercial is much older. It dates from the 1960s, and you can still see it on television today.