the good old days

Christians (and, really, anybody who tries to shop during the month of December) always complain that Christmas is becoming too commercialized. But Mother’s Day is what is driving me nuts this year. Even grocery stores have huge posters up reminding you to buy something for your mother. Gift Cards! Clothing! Jewelry! Flowers! Cake, cookies, pastries, chocolate! It’s annoying to watch the harassment since I’m supposed to be the target of this generosity. It’s even more annoying that the stores I actually need stuff from at the moment (Lowe’s and Home Depot, since I’m doing a fair amount of home repair) don’t mention a thing about Mother’s Day… wonder why…

A friend told me about the gift she got from her thirteen-year-old last Mother’s Day: a diamond ring. He’d listened to the advertising, and found the jewelry store’s advice to be particularly compelling — and spent what was for him a fairly large chunk of change. She was a little weirded out (diamonds are usually from the boyfriend or spouse, not children), but mostly upset at having to figure out how to phrase a response: she loved the sentiment, but couldn’t possibly keep it. “He tried so hard,” she said, “and I was just thinking, Damn, this is wrong, we have to take this back, but how do I tell him?”

Anna Jarvis initially strove to recognize the contributions of her own mother, who was active in her community in addition to being, well, a mother. Shortly after it was written into law as a national holiday in May of 1914, however, Anna rapidly regretted the commercialization.

Jarvis, says her New York Times obituary, became embittered because too many people sent their mothers a printed greeting card. As she said, “A printed card means nothing except that you are too lazy to write to the woman who has done more for you than anyone in the world. And candy! You take a box to Mother—and then eat most of it yourself. A pretty sentiment!”

For kids that are grown and away from home: what most mothers want most is to know that their children are happy and thriving. If you’re not nearby, write a letter about your great accomplishments and hopes (inside the printed card is acceptable nowadays). If you’re reasonably close, visit and tell her about your accomplishments and hopes. Bitching about your problems is a big no-no.

If the kids are still fairly young, Mom wants nothing more than to get away from the kids. Babysitting is an ideal Mother’s Day gift.

Oh yeah, and to the guy at work who was complaining about his newborn daughter arriving right before Mother’s Day last year, so he “had” to buy flowers for his wife for another holiday: fuck you, you selfish little shit — she just gave birth, the least you can do is buy her a plant.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 8th, 2008 at 9:42 am and is filed under Etiquette, raising children. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.