Archive for May, 2008

31st May 2008

Drivers Safety Films: The Last Date

This is one of those film titles that would go really well with dramatic music after it… The Last Date [DUM DUM DUM!]

Dick York was only 21 when this was made in 1949, so it’s not unreasonable to see him trying to play a high school jock. It is funny, though. It’s also worth watching to see where the well-known phrase “teenicide” originated. What’s that — you’ve never heard of teenicide? I guess that’s because you’ve never seen this film!

Please enjoy the plentiful innuendo sprinkled throughout…


One of the funniest lines: “Tea doesn’t come from China, silly! It comes from Ceylon… or somewhere…” which goes to show that despite the permanent disfigurement resulting from the accident, Jeanne will still have a fulfilling life since she’s so smart. (Ha! Just kidding! She’s ugly now and the 1950’s will not accept that; she’s destined for a life of being pointed at and ridiculed, perhaps a long-term career as a circus freak.)

Posted in automotive safety, video | No Comments »

30th May 2008

Canadian Club just can’t stop pissing me off

Canadian Club Whisky is about timeless masculinity, unpretentiousness and being mannerly… –Dorene Wharton, Marketing Director at Beam Global Spirits & Wine Inc.

This is a quote from a press release biased blather regarding a survey about what drinks are more masculine conducted by Beam Global (Canadian Club’s parent company). And, from the end of the release…

For more information on Beam Global Spirits & Wine, its brands, and its commitment to social responsibility, please visit www.beamglobal.com

Great, what’s that, in your own words?

Beam Global Spirits & Wine aims to set the standard for tasteful, responsible marketing and advertising to legal purchase age adults who choose to drink. –Beam Global’s FAQs

Taking a leadership position in social responsibility is a way of doing business at Beam Global. We seek to make a positive difference in the countries and communities in which we live and work…. We are proud to be the leader in the industry in working with all aspects of the community to address irresponsible use of beverage alcohol…. Beam Global has led the way in working with others to end alcohol misuse and we have also taken the lead in marketing our products responsibly. –Beam Global’s Social Responsibility

Two points to consider here: their commitment to social responsibility seems to be quite limited to addressing alcohol abuse, and they don’t tightly adhere to their goal of “tasteful” marketing. Here’s another example of their tasteful advertising strategies (via Michelle Schwartz Chronicles again)…

On Friday, Canadian Club Whisky will host a spoof protest outside Toronto showings of Sex and the City to “protest the rise of the pink, girlie cocktail and the demise of the masculine cocktail.”…

“It’s kind of reminding people that there are other options,” said Ginny Homewood, brand manager for Canadian Club Whisky. “You can have a sophisticated cocktail that doesn’t look like a martini.”

Dorene Wharton and Ginny Homewood are not impressing me with rampantly sexist advertising strategies.

I originally thought I should just boycott Canadian Club, but I’m happy to include ALL these Beam Global products in the list of alcohol brands I will no longer purchase for myself or others. My annual liquor bill is a few hundred annually (including gift purchases) and they won’t be seeing a damn cent.

  • Jim Beam(R) Bourbon
  • Sauza(R) Tequila
  • Canadian Club(R) Whisky
  • Courvoisier(R) Cognac
  • Maker’s Mark(R) Bourbon
  • Laphroaig(R) Scotch Whisky
  • Teacher’s(R) Scotch Whisky
  • Knob Creek(R) Bourbon
  • Starbucks(TM) Liquors

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

29th May 2008

Irony: delicious

I was skimming my just-posted post and thought I’d made a mistake.

I quoted Rick Kieffe’s statement as including (emphasis mine)

the current objection to religious sentiment (”Under God”, “In We Trust“) was not closely reviewed by our dealership

I thought I must have screwed something up, since it should be “In God We Trust”. But no, not my fault…
2008-05-29 Screenshot, kieffeandsons.comText of Kieffe and Sons apology

I don’t want to be too hard on Mr. Kieffe for the omission. Accidentally leaving out a word happens to anybody, seemingly most often in important documents.

But the particular word that was left out… it’s just hilariously ironic.

Posted in sweet sweet irony | No Comments »

29th May 2008

Bigoted non-Ford employee makes Ford look bad

Successful companies are ones that satisfy their customer’s wants, needs and desires. The data clearly show that if your customer base is global and diverse and you reflect their perspectives and their knowledge, you’re going to have a better chance for success. The closer you get to their emotional and intellectual roots, the better you’re going to communicate with them.

So what’s the business case for diversity? It’s the only business case we need—the only way to satisfy diverse customers is to include their perspectives inside the company. This is especially true for Ford, because we probably have the most diverse set of customers in the world.

From Ford CEO Alan Mulally, posted on Ford’s website.
Mr. Mulally might wish to have a discussion with J. W. Horne, who is apparently the advertiser representing the Kieffe & Sons Ford dealership to the public. (Note, anything in brackets are my comments, as are the ellipses. I didn’t want to bore you with the whole thing, feel free to go to the source and read it yourself.)

For those of you out there in never never land or la la land or maybe underground and under the radar [?] who are so called non believers, I am the man who wrote and recorded the Kieffe and sons spot. In fact I write and produce all of the Kieffe and Sons ford spots…. I am a believer and I am pretty sure that most everyone at Kieffe and Sons ford are also believers…. Believers do not have to justify their existence…. I support everyones right to think and do and live as they wish. I do not condem [sic] any American that disagrees with me…. if you were careful enough to listen to the entire spot you would have heard me say that to the good people at Kieffe and Sons ford “everyone one is welcome at the dealership whether you are a believer or not, you are still welcome…. We do business according to the rules of the good book.. if you are offended by that, then you are offended by the truth…. If you are offended, well like I said in the commercial.. thats tough.

Even disregarding factual errors in the radio spot and Horne’s masturbatory self-justification, he’s missed the point that it’s not just atheists who are angry; there are plenty of Christians who heard it and were disgusted (not to mention the non-Christian-non-atheist population of the country). Horne’s non-apology insists that Kieffe and Sons will still welcome anybody to the dealership, meaning the ad (paraphrased) told non-Christians, “Sit down and shut up. Then, come buy our cars and we’ll pretend to respect you!” How open-minded of him. Flaunting majority status while deigning to take a minority’s money is not an apology, nor a way to gain business (except from bigots).

Owner Rick Kieffe paints a different picture, however.

This statement is provided in response to reaction prompted by a radio commercial that Kieffe & Sons Ford recently ran referring to issues of God in our schools and on our money.

For 15 years, Kieffe and Sons Ford has run ad campaigns that focus on current events. We have chosen to do this rather than presenting typical car sales ads. We do this through an agency that develops the material and sends us a package of commercials to review. From this, we select commercials that we distribute to area radio stations…. Regrettably, the commercial that has prompted the current objection to religious sentiment (”Under God”, “In We Trust”) was not closely reviewed by our dealership before it went live. The commercial has been replaced. We apologize to all who were offended. It is Kieffe and Sons’ intention to support America and the freedoms that make this country great.

All he’s done is replace the commercial? What I want to know is whether Kieffe intends to continue using Horne’s advertising company. If so… well, it’s not a sign of real concern, is it?

The fact that this fiasco was started by one short-sighted bigot in Oklahoma who’s not even a direct Ford employee is disappointing. UPDATE: Turns out Kieffe is, actually, quite happy with what Horne said, and was “forced” to apologize by Ford corporate. So, it’s a direct Ford employee making himself look like a bigoted ass, and making Ford look like it doesn’t believe in a diverse customer base.

Ford has a lot bigger problems to solve, and needs to get this off their backs, or it will continue to degrade their public image.

  • Like I said, I am in the market for a new car…. I have not thought about dealers yet, though I’m looking forward to the next generation of hybrids. But I do know who I won’t be dropping $30K with. –Way of the Woo
  • I certainly will never buy a car from him and would certainly not recommend him to anyone. –Underground Unbeliever
  • There’s not much we can do, except boycott Kieffe and Sons Ford, and heck, boycott Ford altogether — Ford seems unconcerned about the fact that one of their dealerships is using bigotry to sell cars. –Pharyngula

It’s not just Kieffe and Sons that will feel fallout (including rude, stupid, shortsighted people calling them up and swearing, does that help anything, jerks?) — it’s also hitting Ford.

I hope to see something from Mulally reinforcing the apology, perhaps even [UPDATE: hard to reinforce Kieffe's non-apology] broadly emphasizing that Ford as a corporation DOES want to have a diverse customer base. Without that, he’s making it very hard for me to justify leaving Ford vehicles on my list of possible future purchases — and I really, really want American-made cars. I don’t live in Mojave and have no way to personally change the income of Kieffe and Sons, but I do patronize my local Ford dealerships — or, at least, I have in the past.

Should I continue to give you business, Mr. Mulally?

Posted in Etiquette, advertisement, automotive | 1 Comment »

28th May 2008

Whiny hypocrital gasbags

It’s been a looong day of useless work and it is only going downhill. So here’s a little rant:

If you have just complained about gas hitting $4.00 per gallon (and haven’t we all?) don’t follow up closely thereafter with any of the following…

  • Talk about how you think alternative fuel proposals (e.g. wind power) are a load of bunk
  • Brag about how you drive 20 miles to this great gas station in the middle of nowhere which charges $0.05 less than anyplace in town (thereby losing three dollars or so)
  • Laugh at my hybrid and tell me how long it will take to pay itself off
  • Extol the virtues your brand-new SUV or RV (seriously, man, you bought that NOW?)
  • Smoke (a bigger budget-buster than high fuel prices)
  • Leave the engine running while you sit in the drive-through lane at McD’s during the lunch-hour rush
  • Leave the engine running while you run into the store
  • Leave the engine running AND LEAVE YOUR PRESCHOOL CHILD IN THE CAR while you run into the store

I am sick of this behavior anyway, but when you prelude idiocy with crying about the price at the pump, I have no pity for you at all.

I think it’s the last two that get to me the most. Even if you don’t care about the gas you’re wasting, it’s a big advertisement that you want your car (and/or child) stolen. I have to really fight the temptation to just reach in and turn it off.

Posted in automotive, finance | No Comments »

24th May 2008

Driver’s Safety Films: What’s the Big Hurry?

What’s the Big Hurry?
(IMDB claims it was made in 1970, but there’s no copyright date in the Prelinger version)


Surprisingly gore-free for a Sid Davis film, there’s still plenty of carnage if you count wrecked cars. This was filmed almost exclusively in a junkyard, with smashed and damaged auto bodies scattered about. (Apparently this makes for great fun if you’re a car aficionado and enjoy identifying cars, even when they’re mangled.)

Posted in automotive safety, video | No Comments »

23rd May 2008

Eighty Years Ago…

One at a Time Kleenex
… Kleenex invented the pop-up tissue box: when you pull a Kleenex out, another comes up after it. This ad from 1950 neatly illustrates the point.

Only wonderful, soft Kleenex serves you one-a-time!

Instead of many, you get just one… and save!

Unless you’re my mother, who pulls at least three each time she wipes her grandkids’ noses, then tosses them all so that one teeny booger doesn’t re-infect somebody. Yes, Mom, I said BOOGER. It’s not a bad word.

The 1928 pop-up tissue invention was a brilliant feature, quickly and easily providing a clean, soft tissue — but, another unforeseen bonus, it’s also a way to amuse an infant for a surprisingly long time. They pull a tissue out, and there’s still a tissue there. They pull another one, there’s still a tissue there. Pull another one, OMG IT’S STILL THERE! This is absolutely amazing when you’re a year old — an infinite supply of tissues.

Unfortunately, I will not let my son remove one hundred Kleenexes from their tidy little box and scatter them all over the floor. This makes him very angry, probably financing some future therapist’s world cruise.

Posted in advertisement, new technologies | No Comments »

22nd May 2008

Fuck You, Canadian Club

Dear Canadian Club Whiskey,

Your advertising department is a pack of shortsighted fools.

My mother’s father actually did drink whiskey regularly. Very regularly. In fact, he was severely alcoholic. And when he drank, he was abusive. The emotional impact of that has scarred my mother, aunt, and uncles for the rest of their lives. So “YOUR DAD DRANK LOTS OF OUR WHISKEY” gives me a strong, visceral, anti-your-whiskey reaction.

Beyond that personal experience: I wouldn’t want to be like any of the people in your ads. I wouldn’t want to be a male slut. I wouldn’t want to be the old-time manly man. Part of this is because I just haven’t got the manly equipment, being a woman and all — but trust me, even if I was a man, those are not characters I would ever aspire to.

I have multiple relatives who are mildly or wildly fond of whiskey; I will not be buying any of them Canadian Club as a gift ever again. I will not have it in my own house under any circumstances; any bottles in our cabinet will be poured down the drain, and it will never be purchased by us again. My liquor budget for gifts and personal use is no more than a couple hundred dollars a year, but I doubt I’m the only one who’s strongly offended by your advertisements. Hopefully the loss of customers will far outweigh any gains.

Sincerely Loathing Your Company,
Me

Positively, though, Project: Canadian Club - Your Mom Had Groupies has put a beautifully inclusive, humorous spin on this otherwise pointless, misogynistic, homophobic ad campaign. One of my favorites so far:
Your Mom Wasn\'t A Stepford

Posted in advertisement, feminism | 4 Comments »

21st May 2008

“Amish” friendship bread

I really like “friendship bread.” I think it’s delicious. My mother had a starter of this when I was growing up, and we ate it for years. After a while, we got a bit tired of it (and got more busy, as my brother and I went through adolescence), and gave up. Now, fifteen years later, I got a chance to get another starter. Great, I thought, I can have this again! Fits in well with my fairly-new tendency to make things from scratch, and it means I’ll have a delicious cakey bread every ten days but not too often.

I was a bit surprised to see the starter offered as “Amish friendship bread” — when we had our batch, it wasn’t called Amish. I have no clue how that mythology started, since one ingredient for the bread itself is a box of instant pudding (how very non-modern). And I was infuriated to read this at the end of the instruction page…

If you lose your starter you will have to get another one from a friend! ONLY THE AMISH know the SECRET INGREDIENT to making a new starter, so keep yours going!

That is pathetic. It’s intuitively obvious what the SECRET INGREDIENT is — something that replicates itself ad nauseum, since otherwise it would be diluted out of the solution. So, the SECRET INGREDIENT is alive. So, it is good ol’ yeast. (Duh, right?) I was amused for a while by the possibility that perhaps this was homeopathic Amish friendship bread, and the SECRET INGREDIENT was somehow made more powerful by dilution…

How sad is it that baking has become a mysterious art? I have a lot of respect for the Amish and Mennonite ability to cope, even thrive, without most modern technologies. But they aren’t keepers of some secret magic. Two generations ago, every woman knew how to bake; today, it’s all about pre-mixed tricks. Yeast was once as normal an ingredient as flour, but today it’s become a mysterious unknown additive.

There is, of course, the distinct possibility that I am taking this much too seriously. Wikipedia, that most credulous of online sources, disputes the Amish mythology behind friendship bread. My Sister’s Kitchen blog has a great post about “AFB” which debunks the myths (such as “NO METAL!”) and, in the comments, has a long list of variations (chocolate, ZOMG!), suggestions, and tricks.

Posted in food, load of hooey | 1 Comment »

20th May 2008

Etiquette and Society: How to get a job

The factory I work at is scheduled to close at the end of June, so we’re all being given an amazing amount of leeway while looking for new jobs. This includes having a job search consultant who works on our resumes, gives us interviewing tips, and so on.

However, I recently stumbled across a lovely guide for interviewing etiquette. From a 1953 issue of the comic book Cinderella Love (#13)…

So you are going to get a job?

The mostly-male engineering team is sure to benefit from this advice 8) A thousand thanks to the women’s movement and modern computers, for letting me have a career that doesn’t involve typing and stenography.

There are also tips for holding the job once you’ve got it — read more here. Sleestak comes up with some awesome stuff.

Posted in Etiquette, feminism | No Comments »